YAHA!
by averylucas4ever
Summary: The Deimon Devilbats are still at it, even after all they've accomplished. Follow them as they go on many adventures filled with everything you could possibly imagine. Yes, that includes Hiruma's machine guns. Rated T for Hiruma's swearing. Crackfic.
1. Training

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Eyeshield 21, as much as I wish I did.

**A/N:** This is the first Eyeshield 21 fanfic and 2nd fanfic I've ever written. Wish me luck! :D (I'll need it, because I find it difficult to swear...yeah, I know, major problem for Hiruma. I'll try my best though.)

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**Chapter 1**

**Training  
**

Sena Kobayakawa was running with Raimon Tarou, or "Monta" to most people, Tetsuo Ishimaru, and Manabu Yukimitsu. These Deimon Devil Bats and their teammates had won the Christmas Bowl against the Teikoku Alexanders, and Sena had lived up to the name of "Eyeshield 21" in that match with Yamato Takeru. Monta had also defeated Honjou Taka, the son of his idol.

At the football field, Kurita Ryoukan, Daikichi Komusubi, and the Huh-huh brothers (Juumonji Kazuki, Kuroki Kouji, and Toganou Shouzou) were practicing their blocks as well. Gen "Musashi" Takekura was working on his kicks right beside them.

While Natsuhiko Taki was there somewhere, being an idiot. (as usual)

But even after they had celebrated this stunning and great victory over Teikoku Gakuen, a certain someone still wouldn't let them slack off in training...

***

In the Deimon Devil Bats' Clubhouse, Hiruma Youichi, who was known to some as "the spawn of Satan" (or maybe even Satan himself), unwrapped a stick of gum and chewed it thoughtfully while busily typing on his laptop. He was researching all the teams for the spring tournament, and mentally calculated the Devil Bats' chance of winning against the teams in their current state. Then, a devilish idea crossed Hiruma's mind as an equally devilish grin crossed his face. He closed his laptop and walked out the door, bumping into manager Mamori Anezaki on the way out as she was walking in.

"Watch where you're going, damn manager," Hiruma said without turning around. **(So painful....)**

As usual, Mamori began scolding Hiruma as he walked off, oblivious to the angry words being thrown at him. Suzuna Taki, who was right beside Mamori, grinned and said, "You two fight like a married couple." Her antennae-like hair was going crazy pointing at Mamori.

Which of course, then prompted another flustered and angry Mamori denying any romantic relations between herself and Hiruma.

Yes, it was another typical day for the Devil Bats.

Until Hiruma arrived at the football field right as the team members were taking a break from their blocking, kicking and...idiocy? Sena and company had just arrived from their running too.

"Alright, listen up brats. We're going to start a new training program. It's called 'Training in Dangerous Parts of the World.' Anyone want to guess where we'll be training?" Hiruma finished with his evil cackle.

"Training in Dangerous Parts of the World...are we training in dangerous parts of the world?" Taki volunteered with his signature grin.

Everyone, except maybe Musashi, looked at Hiruma in disbelief. One would think that after going on the Death March and enduring so much under Hiruma, these kind of crazy schemes would seem like second nature. But not this. This was dangerous, hence the clever name of their training plan. What was Hiruma thinking? The world may never know...

***

The next day, everyone was packed and ready for their training...trip around the world. The bus came at what felt like the crack of dawn, 5 A.M., yet Hiruma seemed as awake as ever with his machine gun in one hand and his bag in another. He was randomly shooting people if they were walking to slow or if they started to nod off. "Keke, if we're late then I'm having you all run laps around the top of Mount Fuji - after you climb up there! I told you damn brats to get here earlier so we could get there early! Oh, I forgot to mention Mount Fuji is our first destination."

And then Hiruma proceeded to run around kicking people at will. Which was mainly the really slow/tired people. Mamori, of course, was running around organizing everything so she didn't exactly have the time to yell at Hiruma (not that it would have stopped him anyways) and Suzuna also tagged along because of Taki (God knows what kind of trouble he'll get into).

It only got worse on the bus, as Monta fought with others for the seat next to Mamori. Sena was across the aisle, panicking about what they would have to do. He could already imagine the horror, the pain, and the suffering Hiruma would put them through. With his evil ideas and...well, his machine guns, I guess.

Still, before long, almost everyone fell asleep. Mainly due to their lack of sleep from last night and the early time they were forced out of bed.

Yukimitsu, though, had actually managed to fit the average amount of sleep that a high schooler should receive and as a result, was one of the few people still awake. He worked up the courage to ask, "Um, Hiruma-san, uh, are we really going to, well, uh, do this? I-I mean, you know, it just seems really dangerous and everything, so, um, I was hoping that you were just kidding?"

As soon as he finished his last 8 words, a devilish grin broke out on Hiruma's face.

"Kekeke, I never kid around, baldy! Now don't complain or I'll have you do twice as much as everyone else!" Hiruma cackled evilly.

And Yukimitsu didn't say another word to Hiruma after that, even though Mamori scolded Hiruma about being mean to people.

A few hours later, they arrived at Mount Fuji.

"Well, brats, here we begin! YA-HA!"

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**A/N:** Eheh, sorry about the short chapter. I actually started working on this quite some time ago and recently noticed it. Because I haven't really been online much. But anyways, read & review!...Please? Yay! Thanks :]


	2. Ready, Set, GO!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Eyeshield 21, blah blah blah.

**A/N:** Yay! A big thank you to everyone who reviewed/read chapter 1 :) It makes me feel better that people actually take the time to read this. I'M SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IN A LONG TIME THOUGH!!

Oh, and these chapters aren't really going to be long seeing how I lack the attention span to make them longer. But I personally prefer chapters that aren't too long.

Anyways, enough of my rants. BACK TO THE STORY!

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**Chapter 2**

**Ready, Set, GO!  
**

"Listen up, brats! I want you all to run up that damn mountain in as little time as possible! Got it? The last person to finish has to carry fatty here down the mountain!" Hiruma said while pointing to Kurita.

"Ready, set, GO!" Hiruma yelled.

And because Sena is such a good sprinter, he got the early lead. Monta followed behind him, making his usual monkey noises. However, since we know that Komusubi is and extremely worker, he soon caught up even though that's probably not possible. He was followed closely by the Huh-huh bros, who still seem to have some sort of rivalry with him. Which is kind of pathetic, seeing how they're about twice his height and there's three of them. But anyways, Yukimitsu was still in last because sadly, no matter how hard he worked, he would never be as awesomely amazing as some people but we give him credit anyways.

And everyone else was in a pack, jogging slowly for they actually had some common sense in knowing they were running up a whole mountain.

Hiruma was following them in a helicopter. (Don't ask how he got it, he's Hiruma - which basically means anything is possible)

"FASTER! FASTER! REMEMBER, THE LOSER IS CARRYING FATTY!" he yelled hysterically into a megaphone, which was the kind that not only amplified his voice but also made it into different voices. Thus, it was extremely annoying to listen to.

Yet they could do nothing about it, for the one they would have to target would be Hiruma. And no one in the right mind would think of doing that.

"Kekekeke," Hiruma laughed.

"Hiruma, you shouldn't be doing this to them. It's too dangerous!" Mamori protested.

"Whatever, damn manager."

"Don't call me that!"

"Did you eat all the cream puffs again?"

"THAT WASN'T ME!"

Suzuna watched this exchange with her head going back and forth and a bag of popcorn. Again, don't ask where she got it, we think Hiruma somehow got a bunch of perks with the helicopter.

Anyways, after a while, people began to get tired. As it is normal for a human. Especially Sena, who sprints at the speed of light. He began to walk and eventually sat down.

"You can't stop now! CONTINUE MAX! MUKYA!" yelled Monta, even though he was getting rather tired himself.

"Fugoo!" added Komusubi, which means "You can't give up now because real men don't give up! Come on Sena, we're almost at the top of the mountain! You don't want to carry my sensei, do you? Let's go Sena! You can do it! Don't ever give up!" (translation courtesy of Kurita and Hiruma's megaphone)

Then, after grueling hours of pain, torture, and hunger, they had reached the top. The Devil Bats found Hiruma standing in the middle of a football field at the peak.

At this point, it should go without saying that we don't question how Hiruma makes these things happen.

But when everyone saw the football field, they stared in shock and hoped that the worst case scenario wouldn't happen...

"Now you get to play football up here where it's hard to breath! Kekekeke! We'll be on teams, and the first person to drop gets to carry the damn fatty down!" Hiruma laughed and fired his machine gun up into the sky.

...Sadly, that was the worst case scenario.

"What happens if it's the same person who got last place coming up here?"

"THEN THEY CARRY HIM TWO TIMES! YA-HA!"

Everyone was then split up into two teams and the game began.

However, people were extremely tired from the run up the mountain, and the fact that they now have to play American football just made them tired thinking about it.

Even so, most of them managed to play, though very, very, very, very, very slowly. Of course, Hiruma wouldn't let this go.

"150 PUSH UPS! RIGHT NOW!" he screamed through his megaphone, which was quite unnecessary seeing how everyone was within a 5 yard radius.

And the pain and torture of that was too painful for words, so we'll just leave it at that.

Mamori and Suzuna watched from the sidelines, a look of pity upon their faces.

Though it also looked as if Mamori had a bit of a cream puff on her face.

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**A/N: **YAY CHAPTER 2 AT LAST! Please review :D

Thanks for sticking with me, I really appreciate it :) You guys really are awesome!

And I already warned you about the short chapters. Hope you don't mind.

Well, hope you enjoyed it! Now I must stop being a procrastinator and work on my English project~~

GOODBYE!


	3. I don't like spicy food! Part 1

**Disclaimer: **Since I didn't put one up last chapter, I'll put it here now. If I owned Eyeshield 21 I would probably replace all of Hiruma's swearing with...more pleasant words. And while I was at it, I would probably decide to be evil and reverse the personalities of people just for the sick and twisted fun of it. Good thing I don't own it, right?

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews, you guys :) They fill me with happiness and joy and...ok, I'll stop now.

But THANK YOU!!

I promise I'll try my hardest to update more often so I don't lose what few fans I have.

Okey dokey, without further ado, LET THE STORY BEGIN!! (Credits to chocolvr69 for this chapter's idea + telling me about the history of the Taj Mahal. Yay!)

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**Chapter 3**

**I don't like spicy food! Part 1**

Mount Fuji was torture. No, it was worse than torture.

Yet they somehow managed to survive.

Luckily, someone had also somehow managed to convince Hiruma not to make the loser carry Kurita down the mountain. GASP.

Yukimitsu was probably the most tired out of all of them, and was out like a light while the helicopter was flying. To where, the world may never know.

...Until now. Down below, the Devil Bats could see a big white building with a roof in a peculiar shape.

Now, Yukimitsu woke up. Upon seeing this strange building, he asked, "Why are we going to the Taj Mahal?"

"THE TAJ MAHAL??" the rest of the team screamed. Well, those that could pronounce it correctly anyways.

"...What's the Taj Mahal?" most of the team asked after an awkward silence.

And because Yukimitsu was really the only one besides Hiruma who knew his geography, he was befuddled. "Uh, why are we going to India? I thought we lived in Japan, which would naturally mean we're going back to where we live...unless..."

"That's right! Next part of Training in Dangerous Parts of the World! The Taj Mahal!" Hiruma grinned evilly, though he was feeling rather exhausted himself. He had actually carried Kurita down the mountain himself, seeing how no one else did and he didn't climb up with them.

Not that he would ever admit to this fatigue.

But no matter what happened, Hiruma didn't want his team to slack if they were going to win the Fall Tournament. No sir, slacking just equals more push ups.

While Hiruma pondered how he would start their training there, Yukimitsu had a sickening thought. He is, of course, a wonderful student who knew a lot of history about Japan and the world. And learning the history of how the Taj Mahal was built was one of the more unpleasant things he had learned.

So he gathered the Devil Bats together and said, "Storytime!"

"You see, once upon a time there was a king who loved his wife. A lot. In fact, he loved her so much that he wanted to build a whole building for her. Sadly, she had died from childbirth. So he hired all the best architects to build a tomb for her, and that's how the Taj Mahal came into existence. Oh, did I mention that after they finished building it, he cut all the architects' hands off so there would never be another beauty like it?" Yukimitsu informed everyone.

"Keke, how interesting. I think I might change your training schedule a bit!" Hiruma popped up from behind Yukimitsu and grinned while the wheels in his head were turning with diabolical thoughts.

"Oh no..." Sena groaned. He began to sweat.

"Mukyaa! SCARY MAX!" Monta yelled.

"Fugoo!" Komusubi said, which was something along the lines of, _Oh no! What if he cuts our hands off if we don't do exactly what he wants us to! He wouldn't actually do that though because no one's that evil. But I'm not really sure. What do you think, sensei? _(translation by Kurita...again)

"Well, Komusubi, I think Hiruma-san wouldn't do anything THAT evil," stated Kurita doubtfully.

"You-nii isn't that mean! He won't hurt you too much!" Suzuna chimed in happily.

"He better not," glowered Mamori, still pissed off about the things that had happened earlier that day, "Or he'll have to deal with ME."

"Whatever, damn manager."

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT!"

"Would you rather me call you cream puff thief?" Hiruma teased. He pointed to her cheek. "Look, you have a smudge of cream right over here."

Mamori turned red and wiped her face. Thankfully, he was lying (which was quite normal, so we're not quite sure how she believed him. But like we said, he's Hiruma and...well, we're not). She was about to admonish him for teasing her, but wasn't able to because he started talking first.

"Listen up, everyone! We're in India now! It's hot, it's sunny, and it's full of CURRY!" Hiruma yelled.

Everyone just stared at him, confused. What did curry have to do with this?

"I know you're probably staring at me in a confused way while wondering what curry has to do with this," Hiruma continued, "But it IS part of our training! We're going to land in a city and go to a restaurant, where we'll order the hottest curry possible. Call it a curry-eating contest, if you will. But you guys are going to have to eat as much of the curry as possible. This is to improve your pain tolerance, and if you don't like it then just go home! Those who are coming will improve from this, and those who aren't, TOO BAD because you're going to come whether you really want to or not."

An awkward silence followed this. Out of all the things Hiruma could have done to them, he chose to have them eat CURRY. CURRY. The spicy food that India was famous for. He could have done many things, oh let's see...maybe have them try to replicate building the Taj Mahal for the endurance purposes and if they didn't he would cut their hands off? But no, this "spawn of Satan" was having them eat curry.

In a way, it might be fitting. You know, because of the fiery depths of hell and the fiery spicy taste of curry.

With Hiruma, though, you might be lucky if your tongue didn't catch on fire.

And then Kuroki piped up and said, "I don't like spicy food!"

To which he got the response, "...Well, it was nice knowing you."

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**A/N: **Well, that's the first part of chapter 3. I just realized how long this chapter was going to be so I think I'll continue it in the next chapter :) READ AND REVIEW!

Thanks guys! Love you all~


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